13 March 2008

Ready to go (again)

Hitting the road again tomorrow for more motivating training.

I don't think I'll be entirely off the map - I should be able to reach out and post a couple of times. We'll see. I may also look into testing some posting-with-the-aid-of-others options.

Tonight was packing. I love packing.

Yeah. That's the "at home" version of the gear layout. I don't know if I'm forgetting something major or if I'm just less inclined to tote along gear I know I won't use (e-tool? I am not dragging an e-tool around anymore), but it didn't seem like much stuff at all.

It packed up nicely, too.

There's room in all those bags, and, since I forgot shoes earlier this week, I am imagining all sorts of stuff I may have left out.

But the important stuff is there: helmet? check. armor and gear? check. cigarettes? check. shower shoes? check.

Everything else will work itself out.

11 March 2008


I have absolutely nothing to say today.

I could give you a recap of today's pre-training training with the Army, but it was pretty dull the first time, and believe you me, you are not interested.

I did manage to show up in PT gear, participate in PT, shower and partially change before I realized that although I had a complete Army Combat Uniform in my bag, my boots were tucked neatly under the end of my bed. At the house. Forty miles from the Reserve Center.

The only thing better than being the Daily Dumbass is being the Daily Dumbass who wears her slightly-rank PT uniform all day.


If we can't serve as a positive example, we can always serve as a warning.

10 March 2008

I am the worst person

on earth.

Know why?

Because I cannot stand, cannot abide, am enraged/nauseated/sickened by "School Zones."

Did I miss something? Sometimes I think I've missed all these dangers. At exactly what point did it become necessary to lower all speed limits on all roads within 57 miles of any sort of educational institution to like 20 miles an hour?

I cross a school zone once in a while, when I cannot plan my entire day around avoiding it. This morning, however, I tried to drive down the road to get on the highway. I left the house at 0732. My freakin' mistake.

The two or so miles between here and the expressway took 1,000 years. Going roughly 20. Oh, once in a while, the school zone would end, but then I'd be within 500 yards of a possible potential route for some simpering child, and it would drop back down.

Did I see any children? No. No children. But the mere possibility of children, and the possibility of possibily causing them harm if they wandered, drooling and confused, into the street...well, we can't have that.

Because Children Are The Future.

A phenomenally stupid future, if blinking crosswalks manned by old people with handheld stopsigns, roadguard vests and flashlights can't get them across a road.

But we all love children, right?

And some of us love children more than the rest of us. They are Better People, because they care so darn much about the future. Know how you can tell who they are?

They are the morons who drive 14mph in the school zone, instead of 20, because that might not be quite safe enough.

This is the sort of thing that would drive me insane in any situation - I can be honest about that. But the worst of it is that I never have to navigate through large groups of young people walking to school. Or zipping along on bikes. Because they don't do that. It appears that children are now driven to school. I see more SUVs lined up dropping kids off than I see buses.

I can pretty much count the number of times I was dropped off at school as a kid on one hand. I rode the bus! For more than an hour! And I liked it!

The children of Texas. Apparently, too stupid to cross roads, and too lazy to walk their happy asses to school.


(And hey - why do church schools get these signs? They're not supposed to be getting my tax dollars, so why am I paying for signs with blinking lights outside Our Lady Of Perpetual Self-Flagellation? If Jesus loves you, he'll get you across the road even if I am doing 35)

Things Jack Doesn't Understand

I am have Army stuff this week (and the next couple, actually). This morning I have to go to the unit in PT gear.

Did you know that it's impossible to explain to a year-old lab-and-somethin' that you're putting on running clothes and shoes, and yet, have no intention of taking him running?

Speaking of PT gear, I spent 45 minutes last night searching (ultimately successfully) for that goddam reflective PT belt. I finally found it, which is fortunate, because I wouldn't want to join that long list of Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines and Coasties who have been tragically cut down by vehicles while wearing a PT uniform.

Fortunately, the belt protects us while we're in workout clothes (necessary, since only four of five exterior garments that comprise the Army's Improved Physical Fitness Uniform have reflective features). And, oddly enough, the overwhelming risk of being mowed down by crazed motorists totally disappears once one dons the Army Combat Uniform. The ACU, of course, has zero reflective features and yet has not seemed to lead to pointless deaths on sidewalks and in parking lots across the United States.


I don't know that I'm in the right spirit for Army stuff this morning.

09 March 2008

Seen at WalMart

I swear, I have either got to get faster with my phone's camera function or start carrying my normal camera.

I was buying treats Friday and noticed the sign...

What the heck is a dog solution??? I was looking for bottles labeled 10% beagle or 17.4% rat terrier, but no such luck.

I missed a beautiful shot earlier this month of a WalMartian woman crossing the parking lot barefoot. I was too busy blinking in confusion to whip out the camera...