Living it up

at our weekend getaway! The Bad Dogs have finally settled down and Casey even posed with Dog Cousin Allie for a picture last night.



Today, I talked Cousin R into taking me to ALABAMA. I've somehow managed to avoid ever actually setting foot there, so we crossed the river to Phenix City (yes, that is how the city spells its name). For an authentic Alabama experience, we went to Super WalMart.

Yep. It was everything you'd think a Super WalMart in an Alabama city with a misspelled name would be.

Then we took the Pack for a spin around the neighborhood (a nice place, but no damn sidewalks). Yep - the craziness never ends.

There's always something

That doesn't make the trip. I feel pretty proud of myself for remembering to bring pants up here, what with trying to get out the door with the Bad Dogs. However...

I had a great shower this morning. Cousin R being a member of civilized society, she has a REAL water heater. There are no words for my glee. But when I got out of the shower and brushed my teeth, I started rummaging through my bathroom bag....rummaging...looking...shit.

No deodorant.

I'm pretty sure I can get from my current location to a place that sells that sort of thing. But I'm not sure if I trust the Pack in my absence.

Oh well. We're going to find out, because I have no intention of smelling like a Middle Easterner.

Big, brown and beautiful

Meet Dog Cousin Allie. Isn't she pretty? She's a Very Good Dog, but she is a little needy. Normally I make a big fuss over her, but with my Bad Dogs here, Casey isn't having any of that.

Cousin R was not much of a dog person until she Mr. Really Great. Mr. Really Great came with two chocolate labs, and although Allie's sister has since moved on the the Big Sunny Field in the sky, Cousin R has fallen in love with big dogs.



How could you not fall in love with a face like that?

NOT a morning person

Sometimes I forget how much I hate the morning.

I drove up to Georgia yesterday in order to hang out with Cousin R and Dog Cousin Allie.

Cousin R has a real job (she teaches) and her alarm went off at 0500. Now, although the Bad Dogs were tucked in the guest room with me, do you think they could just STAY ASLEEP?

No - they could not. Because Dog Cousin Allie was up, they had to be up, too. In fact, they thought they may not remember having met Dog Cousin Allie last night, so we had to go through all the sniffing, running and wrestling again. At 0515.

Because she is a cruel and evil woman, Cousin R is going to go to school and leave me with the Pack. Because they've made that transition - they're no longer individual dogs, they are a wagging, barking, hysterical pack.

Wish me luck. I'll be back later with some pictures,

No liquor store robbery (yet)

Sorry - I was going to rob the liquor store for something to do, but then I figured Mr. Abby would have to come home from school to bail me out and feed the dogs, so I thought better of it.

Watched the Couey trial wind up today on Court TV - kept waiting for the judge to say, "so now we're just going to skip over this last part and take the guy out in the parking lot and shoot him." Of course, he didn't. But I don't expect the jury to be out long.

We're rattling around and packing some stuff as we're headed off on a Bad Dog Road Trip tomorrow. I'll update you from our Top Secret Destination. I can only give you hints for now - my trip involves spackling and beer. Does that sound like a good time or what?

Dull days...

I'm sorry - I haven't been very conversational the past few days. There's nothing fabulous or awful or even interesting going on here, but I just haven't felt like I've had much to say.

You know that feeling? Most things in the news seem to speak for themselves, and even the dogs aren't doing anything interesting.

But you all know we work in fits and starts here, so I'm assuming the next 24 hours will bring forth a torrent of useless observation. If nothing interesting occurs to me, I'll rob a liquor store so I can share it with you all.

I just can't help it...

"Wife Swap" is on again and I just have to watch it. It's as though I can't help myself...

The horror...

I just took a break from the book I'm reading and re-filled my water glass. I sat back down and realized that the local news was long over, and that I was "watching" Entertainment Tonight's coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith funeral.

I don't think I've ever grabbed the remote and switched to the old country music channel so quickly in my life.

Hanging out at the gunshow

I went over to the Suncoast gun show at the State Fairgrounds on Saturday. I didn't need any guns, but I always need accesories.

I'm not a big fan of the gun show. I've only ever purchased one firearm at one, because for the most part, it's hard to pay more for a firearm than you will at the average gun show. The ones here are pretty much all by Suncoast, and they're all about the same.

The one on Saturday was packed. Hey, people, listen. If your kids are little, don't bring them to the gun show. Especially if they're in strollers. Jesus. Also, if your companion or older kids aren't into guns, leave them home.

I'm going to give some instructions here in case the gun show vendors wander in here.

1 - Mr. Magazine Guy...why are all of your magazines mixed up and under glass? This place is a zoo, I'm not going to wait for you to finish talking to the fat kid who wants a 600-round magazine for an SKS in order to ask if you have an MecGar 1911 magazines and at what price. The other magazine dudes have their magazines in labeled bins with the prices on them. Guess who gets Abby's money?

2 - Cheesy fake sword guy...you're a loser. All your customers are losers. And they all still live with their mothers. Please go away and take them with you.

3 - Blowgun guy...see #2.

4 - Milsurp rifle guy...please put prices on your firearms. They're not rare, they're just a bunch of Mausers and Enfields. From listening in on you talking to another customer, I can tell I don't want to talk to you unless your prices are good enough to think about. Since I can't tell if that's the case, I'm going to keep walking.

5 - Hey, weird ammo guy who charges way more than any of the other ammo guys...why do you come here? Nobody is buying any of your stuff. That's because directly across the aisle is a guy selling the exact same stuff for 20% less. Now, I ain't got a business degree or nuthin' like that, but I cannot see how this business model is working out for you.

6 - Old Marine in the corner with all the small parts for US military firearms sorted, labeled and clearly priced, who can also tell me exactly which piece I want and why - you rock. I love you. Would you please move in next door so I can have you as a neighbor?

One could go on and on...the people watching at the gunshow is always a hoot. You got your gang-member wannabes, you got your fat guys wearing SEAL Team 6/Special Forces/USMC/Sniper T-shirts that almost (but not quite) contain the gut. You got your dedicated collector of .32 revolvers with serial numbers ending with 4. You got your Constitutional Patriot Militia Freedom Fighter guy who wants to bitch to all the vendors about the oppression of not being allowed to buy machine guns through the mail. You got your pissed-off wives who are being dragged around by husbands who are going to be surprised that they're not getting any ass later on.

And you've got that short chick who keeps walking past the Pelican Box table, lusting after all the fabulous containers. She seems to be talking to herself, and if you lean close, you can hear her muttering, "I don't really need one. But I want one. But it's 40 bucks and I don't need it. But it's cool."

That'd be me, and I did make it out w/out a Pelican Box. I ended up with a case for the AR, and a groovy little front sight adjustment tool for it. Yes, I know you can use the tip of a round. But they make a tool!

Anyway, check out Hammer's take on the same subject. Yes - we all hate gun shows. But we keep going. Apparently, gun nuts are not particularly bright. But I have always been bright enough to stay out of the bathroom at the gun show...I'd pee in the parking area before I'd go in there.

The new "F" word

We noted Ann Coulter's latest controvery with much amusement here. I'm not a big fan of Ann Coulter, but she does occasionally make me laugh.

"I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out that you have to go into rehab if you use the word 'faggot,' so I'm - so, kind of at an impasse, can't really talk about Edwards, so I think I'll just conclude here and take your questions,"

Well, that's a little socially unacceptable. Then again, that's what Ann Coulter does. Says socially unacceptable things that are occasionally very clever.

I'm not into PC - not at all - but that sort of remark strikes me as very rude. John Edwards, even though he has remarkable hair, is pretty certainly not a faggot, and so I find the use of a very "high school" term a little puzzling.

Now we have to listen to the talking heads wring their hands and natter on and on about how it's not nice to call people "faggots." As though a "shock factor" pundit calling a politician a very rude name requires more social navel-gazing.

I think "candyass" would have been a better choice. No sexual politics, and I'm thinking that was where she was going. Plus, "candyass" is a great term that doesn't get the use it deserves.

And then, of course, we have Edwards' response:

"Ann Coulter's use of an anti-gay slur yesterday was un-American and indefensible," Edwards said in a posting on his Web site, www.johnedwards.com.

"In America, we strive for equality and embrace diversity. The kind of hateful language she used has no place in political debate or our society at large.

"I believe it is our moral responsibility to speak out against that kind of bigotry and prejudice every time we encounter it."

That's just about the most simpering, sniveling, sanctimonious response I could have dreamed up. C'mon, John! You're a millworker's kid - you can do better.

I would have committed to vote for John Edwards if his reponse would have been something like along the lines of, Ann Coulter is a snarky bitch, and she can kiss my zillionaire "faggot" ass.

If we have to listen to this polical crap this far before the damn election, they all ought to at least make it entertaining.

Sometimes it's fabulous...

...to be a grownup.

I just had corned beef hash and eggs for dinner, now I'm working my way through a giant fruit salad as either a second course or desert.

I remember when I was a kid and my Dad introduced me to the wonderfulness that is corned beef hash. This past summer I introduced the stepkids to it. They weren't sure about a canned meat product called "hash," but once they had a taste of that crispy, greasy, salty goodness...they're hooked.

Good stuff. You should go get some immediately.

Making excuses

Although posting often slows down here on the weekend, I rarely take an entire day off. Sorry about that.

Went to the gunshow yesterday. No guns, but I picked up a rifle case and did some high-quality people watching.

Then I came home and drank the rest of the Landshark Lager. Which was good, but I'm making an effort to not blog while drinking, so I spared y'all.

I'm still trying to get the megafauna post to gel.

More later, but it's finally nice out and the Bad Dogs are going to chew my legs off if I don't take them for an Activity.

Possible topics for discussion this evening include: crazy people at the gunshow; Ann Coulter latest escapade; Wolf Blitzer; and, I'm sure, something tedious and dog-related.