04 March 2007

Hanging out at the gunshow

I went over to the Suncoast gun show at the State Fairgrounds on Saturday. I didn't need any guns, but I always need accesories.

I'm not a big fan of the gun show. I've only ever purchased one firearm at one, because for the most part, it's hard to pay more for a firearm than you will at the average gun show. The ones here are pretty much all by Suncoast, and they're all about the same.

The one on Saturday was packed. Hey, people, listen. If your kids are little, don't bring them to the gun show. Especially if they're in strollers. Jesus. Also, if your companion or older kids aren't into guns, leave them home.

I'm going to give some instructions here in case the gun show vendors wander in here.

1 - Mr. Magazine Guy...why are all of your magazines mixed up and under glass? This place is a zoo, I'm not going to wait for you to finish talking to the fat kid who wants a 600-round magazine for an SKS in order to ask if you have an MecGar 1911 magazines and at what price. The other magazine dudes have their magazines in labeled bins with the prices on them. Guess who gets Abby's money?

2 - Cheesy fake sword guy...you're a loser. All your customers are losers. And they all still live with their mothers. Please go away and take them with you.

3 - Blowgun guy...see #2.

4 - Milsurp rifle guy...please put prices on your firearms. They're not rare, they're just a bunch of Mausers and Enfields. From listening in on you talking to another customer, I can tell I don't want to talk to you unless your prices are good enough to think about. Since I can't tell if that's the case, I'm going to keep walking.

5 - Hey, weird ammo guy who charges way more than any of the other ammo guys...why do you come here? Nobody is buying any of your stuff. That's because directly across the aisle is a guy selling the exact same stuff for 20% less. Now, I ain't got a business degree or nuthin' like that, but I cannot see how this business model is working out for you.

6 - Old Marine in the corner with all the small parts for US military firearms sorted, labeled and clearly priced, who can also tell me exactly which piece I want and why - you rock. I love you. Would you please move in next door so I can have you as a neighbor?

One could go on and on...the people watching at the gunshow is always a hoot. You got your gang-member wannabes, you got your fat guys wearing SEAL Team 6/Special Forces/USMC/Sniper T-shirts that almost (but not quite) contain the gut. You got your dedicated collector of .32 revolvers with serial numbers ending with 4. You got your Constitutional Patriot Militia Freedom Fighter guy who wants to bitch to all the vendors about the oppression of not being allowed to buy machine guns through the mail. You got your pissed-off wives who are being dragged around by husbands who are going to be surprised that they're not getting any ass later on.

And you've got that short chick who keeps walking past the Pelican Box table, lusting after all the fabulous containers. She seems to be talking to herself, and if you lean close, you can hear her muttering, "I don't really need one. But I want one. But it's 40 bucks and I don't need it. But it's cool."

That'd be me, and I did make it out w/out a Pelican Box. I ended up with a case for the AR, and a groovy little front sight adjustment tool for it. Yes, I know you can use the tip of a round. But they make a tool!

Anyway, check out Hammer's take on the same subject. Yes - we all hate gun shows. But we keep going. Apparently, gun nuts are not particularly bright. But I have always been bright enough to stay out of the bathroom at the gun show...I'd pee in the parking area before I'd go in there.