01 December 2006


The state of Florida and the absolute knuckleheads who live here have not yet ceased to amaze me.

This guy, one Florida's posterchildren, decided to smoke some crack, get nekkid, then go swimming a lake at 0400. Which is when this GATOR decided he was just stupid enough to eat. That, ladies and gentlemen, is an 11-foot, 8-inch alligator. THAT is why Abby does not hang out in lakes in the hellhole state.

Four Polk County deputies took a 911 call, raced INTO the reeds and dark water, and pulled said Rocket Scientist out of the jaws of the gator. Showing yet again that the Polk County Sheriff's Department apparently has "balls of solid brass" as a hiring requirement. Of course, I think the smart thing to do would have been to let him get eaten, but he was screaming a lot and disturbing the neighbors, so I suppose they had to respond.

We also had a Hillsborough County deputy bitten by a 6-foot rattlesnake while hiking this week. A fellow deputy with whom he was hiking helped him get out and he's now recovering nicely. The snake, like the gator, was shot.

Also shot was some idiot who was burglarizing a home on the north side of town when the homeowners came back from a Thanksgiving trip. This being Florida, the cops merely showed up, hauled the wounded burglar away, and all is good.

This state...I tell you what...something or someone is ALWAYS getting shot here. The bad thing is, something or someone always NEEDS shot down here.