18 March 2009

A most desperate situation

To our horror, we found ourselves out of meat. There is worse Army
chow out there - I know, I've eaten it - but meals here are nothing to
write home about. It's been almost a week now since our last Giant
Meat Festival.

The Boss is still out of town, so my sergeants are Home Alone With
Abby. As is in keeping with my leadership style, we held a Team

SSG Abby: Okay, guys. We're bingo on meat. I'm thinking of
dispatching one of you on an emergency run to Big Base. What do you

SGT C: I'm about it. I'm living on Ramen noodles and tuna. Walking
over to the DFAC is....[shakes his head mournfully]

SGT B: Meat! Meat meat meat!

SSG Abby: Okay, then. We've got stuff going on this week, but I
think meat is more important than the future of this particular part
if Iraq. Agreed?

SGT C: [laughs, nods]

SGT B: I don't think we're totally tapped any day this week, are we?

SSG Abby: Nope. And I think there's a convoy headed that way soon.
I can cover down on your meeting, you can take mine later in the week.
SGT C just got back from Big Base, and utterly failed to bring meat,
so he's not getting another chance. I hate Higher and don't want to
be on the same base with them, so that's YOU, SGT B.

SGT C: They were OUT of meat, sergeant! I went to the PX twice the
last day I was up there -

And so there were instructions, and briefings, and shopping lists.
SGT B has a cover mission, and strict instructions to avoid Higher
and, if spotted, to feign utter ignorance of the English language.

There were, of course, PCCs and PCIs (precombat checks and precombat

SSG Abby: You've got the list? And the giant wad of cash? And a bag?

SGT B: Yep. Look. Only thing in the bag is my night vision.

SSG Abby: Excellent. Godspeed. Be safe out there. Remember -

SGT B: I know - "failure is not an option."