27 May 2008

Cheese for morons

I loves me some cheese, so I picked up a package of pre-sliced swiss at the store the other day.

This was pretty good cheese. Nice flavor, nice texture. A great sitting-around-munching-on-cheese choice. I was doing just that when I flipped the package over and perused the text on the back.

At which point I realized that apparently, some people need serious instructions to execute even the simplest tasks. Check this out, for those of us who cannot figure out how to open a package of cheese...

I was going to comment on the number of non-english speakers who might still struggle through this process, due to the one-language instructions, but then I realized that even folks who speak strange sub-Saharan dialects could probably work from the pictures.

It was nice to know that the good folks at Kroger are committed to helping even the very confused access cheese. But what about post-access? What if you used the pictures, got the cheese open, ate some, and then became confused?

What of this extra cheese, you might wonder?

Relax. Kroger got you covered, with a little block of helpful text I like to call "concept of bag."

I think that's readable, but if it's not, here you go:

This recloseale package is a convenient way to store unused cheese. For best quality keep refrigerated and use within 3 to 5 days after opening.

This is good info, because I cannot count the times I have dumped unused cheese into the dryer, left it there for a week, then been disappointed in the quality when I wanted to finish it off.