Today I got a package of stuff I'd ordered. In the package was the usual assortment of flyers and ads and all that good stuff. Including one for a particularly sacchrine plate featuring a big-eyed Maltese puppy. Another insert advertised an odd bust of bulldog/man with a Marine Corps theme.
That's right, gang. I got the Bradford Exchange flyers.
Let me tell you...no matter what floats your boat, these folks have some sort of odd knicknack to fit.
Into unicorns? The Bradford Exchange people got your back.
Follow a vision to the fairy realm, to a magical place of wonder. Here a beautiful princess, along with a trio of sprites and a mystical unicorn, suddenly appear under a trail of glistening stardust. This Bradford Exchange collector plate is a dream come true.
But what if your thing isn't unicorns? What if you're more like me, and you're into...I dunno...real critters? Gotcha covered there, too. Let's see...we have a Yorkie, and we're mildly fond of him. What do we have in Yorkie Paraphenelia?
It's the World's Ugliest Clock! With a Yorkie! Or, to hear the Bradford Exchange folks tell it...
Yorkies are an adorable breed! With their sweet personalities, long hair, black button nose and dark, inquisitive eyes, they quickly melt your heart and become your best friend for life. Now, you can be reminded of your forever love for the special Yorkie in your life with a stunning collectible Yorkie mantel clock, set in a porcelain sculpted case and adorned with adorable Yorkie portraiture by acclaimed canine artist Michael Vistia.
It occurs to me that Michael Vistia probably did this particular object de art and then quietly went out in the yard and shot himself.
But what if you're not into unicorns or dogs, but are instead a more patriotic sort? Well, that's when the really odd stuff comes out. We got this option:
It's described as, "a patriotic tour de force." Well, that's sure one way of looking at it. Listen, I love the Marine Corps like only a true convert can, but this thing? Not in my house.
But if that's a little too serious for you...
Oh, Cousin R! Is that a Christmas gift waiting to happen or what? Ahem...
Set sail on the open road with this handsome U.S. Navy collectible teddy bear figurine! He's lookin' cool in his casual yet crisp white t-shirt, sailor's cap and blue jeans - check out those shades! And every biker bear knows there's no better way to see the country he serves than from the seat of a tricked out motorcycle - this one is loaded with "chrome" trim, cool anchor-motif wheels, and a dashing anchor emblem on the gas tank!
Most horrifying is that I think there's one for each service.
But, of course, there is always one object that even the most ornery of us would buy. In my case?
'Cause shepherds rock.
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