23 August 2007

We can learn a lot...

...from the mistakes of others. So let's go right and do that, shall we?

From Arizona, we have this gem: Police: Woman Stabs Husband During Sex

This is immediately interesting, is it not? Tragic accident while gettin' their monkey on in the Bayonet Room? Nekkid Teppanyaki gone horribly awry? Or something darker, perhaps.

Well, yes. And it wasn't simply a case of...consumer dissatisfaction with the product, so to speak.

[Mrs.] Gonzales told officers [Mr.] Gonzales had left the home one month ago and ended their marriage.

Okaaay...but why is he then at said house, having sex with her?

Police said she received a telephone call from Gonzales on Tuesday morning requesting she meet him at their home to have the home appraised.

So that's why he was at the house, although it really doesn't answer the second part of the question. Let's read on, shall we?

Falon said she began to cry and Gonzales consoled her, officers said. They began kissing and she later suggested they enter the master bedroom bathroom to have sexual intercourse, according to her account.

My men are out there saying, "there's your proof that women trot out tears unfairly to trick men!" My ladies, however, are saying, "there's your proof that men are idiots when confronted with any opportunity to get some."

It goes downhill from there.

During sex, Falon reached into the duffle bag, removed the knife and stabbed him in the chest, officers said.

But now - ladies especially, pay attention!

[Mr.] Gonzales was able to flee the home.

[Mrs.] Gonzales was arrested on charges of attempted homicide. A preliminary hearing has been set for Sept. 4. She is on supervised release under an electronic monitoring program.

Do not count on killing your estranged husband with a single knife-poke while having sex in the bathroom! Effectively killing someone with a knife is harder than it seems. Either practice, or run him down with a pickup.