Story Time - The World's Greatest Flashlight

I'm not overwhelmingly into expensive shit. Oh, I like it, but quite often, the really pricey version is overkill.

But not always. This occured to me as I was rummaging around my Jeep the other night trying to find my keys. A Maglite would have been helpful.

But a Surefire A2 Aviator is better. This is mine.



Ladies and gentlemen, I own guns that cost less than this flashlight. Story time!

Once upon a time, Abby was at an awful little base in Iraq. I had a small Maglite that annoyed me. I was making plenty of money, and for once, my husband wasn't spending it all on truck accesories (he must have been overseas at that point).

One day, we loaded up the trucks and made a run up to Disneyland (Camp Liberty - where you don't have to wear your body armor everywhere!). Often, these trips involved spending time at the World's Most Evil Civil Affairs Battalion HQ, but they also always involved a PX run.

Now, we had a "PX" down at FOB Crappy, but it was:
A- rarely open
B- rarely stocked because trucks couldn't get through
C- rarely stocked with anything useful. Seriously - you couldn't get toothpaste there. Or shampoo. Or cigarettes. You could get Mach 3 razor blades, Cheezit (if you were one of the first four people there when a truck came in), and an issue of Cosmopolitan in Spanish. I shit you not.

So - the Camp Liberty PX was...amazing. It had...stuff. More than one flavor of soda. Folding chairs. Pillows. Steaks (this was the most amazing thing in the world and we fully took advantage of it).

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but when I was over there, I did not give a shit about money. $150 bucks at Amazon.com so I could read something decent? Sure! $125 on steaks so my tentmates and I could eat good meat? Sure - don't worry about paying me back! A lot of the other folks seemed the same way. We had enough, and damned if we weren't going to pay for anything that might make us smile.

They had a rack of Surefire flashlights. They had obviously been pawed through, and were all mixed up. Most of them seemed to cost about $70. Seemed reasonable. So I pawed through, too, until I found one with features I liked.

Tossed it in my basket. Got steak, toothpaste, cigarettes, lighter fluid, root beer, and six month-old magazines. Got in the World's Longest Checkout Line. Finally got to the counter...my total was like $300.

I paid it. Whatever. If it was wrong, I'd look when I got outside and go back in and get it adjusted.

Got outside, looked at the receipt. The damn flashlight was $149.99.

Now, I walked around in a daze for a significant portion of my time in Iraq. If I was not on mission and there was no immediate threat to my life, I just did not pay attention. So I shrugged. I felt a little sheepish, but I resolved to look up this flashlight on the internet at the first opportunity and see if AAFES had mischarged me.

Later that night, it was time to head out and send the evening SITREP. So I put on my armor and my helmet and grabbed a gun and the Flashlight.

I went out into the pitch black night. I pushed the tailcap a little. A nice, white glow. Not very bright, but even and easy on the eyes. Totally sufficient for reading or close-up work. I pushed harder. Holy crap! It was Super Beam! This is the xenon bulb. And it is amazing.

I sent my SITREP. Then, as was my habit, I trudged across the FOB to get to the internet trailer. At that point, we worked with an armor unit. There was a big open space in the middle of our FOB (there's a story behind that space, but it involves a fire and I'll tell it another time). Crossing the open space was the best way to get where I was going, but the armor unit persisted in changing out track on their vehicles all the time. In the open area. So there were always several lengths of tank track stretched out there.

People, if you have never stubbed your toe on tank track while wearing running shoes...well, it hurts. So I shot the area with Super Beam. And damned if I couldn't see all the way across. Clearly.

I got to the internet trailer and found that the A2 normally retails for $185-$195. Seems I got a pretty good deal. So I kept it.

I did make my tentmates join me outdoors several times to admire the beam. They thought this was weird until I finally confessed what I paid for it. Then they really made fun of me.

It is the World's Greatest Flashlight, folks. But it is also overkill. I recommend the G2 from Surefire. Even brighter (but without the lower-output LED option), much less expensive, and unless you plan on really beating your flashlight to shit, it should hold up almost as well. And if it doesn't? You can buy another one. You'd have to go through four and be on number five before I became more frugal.

But here's the confession. I love my A2. I love it so much that I want more insanely expensive flashlights. I need a G3. And an E2E. And a C3. It's like a sickness.