If you're a bad person

you have to spend eternity doing online Army training. Thus far today, I've done Heat and Cold Injury Prevention (for the 7,894th time since 1996), Media Awareness (Jesus God), and Mine Awareness (Bosnia version).

[sigh]

Coming soon is Law of Land Warfare (another one that the DoD feels is worth hitting four to eight times a year), Suicide Awareness (ditto), and miscellaneous installation-specific computer user orientation courses.

However, I don't think there's anything on my to-do list as terrible as the Commander's Safety Course I took that involved memorizing the appropriate form to use when investigation a helicopter crash during training (as opposed to during real-world operations, since that may very well have been a different form).