Oh, how I'd love it

LeeAnn asked me what I thought about the concept of some sort of compulsory national service, perhaps similar to what Israel does.

Oh, man - would that ever be fabulous. A system that required every able-bodied, non-retarded American citizen to serve 24 continuous months sometime between the age of 18 and 25.

Very few things make me smile way down deep inside like the thought of all the useless young sniveling shits in our country getting their entitled whine on in front of some of my old NCOs. It's a picture in my head, but it makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

Imagine...(and we can insert the instrumentals from the Beatles tune here)...the impact on journalism, if those reporting on the military actually knew anything about what they were talking about.

Imagine the impact on national policy if we knew we had millions of trained, available Americans - and that our own sons and daughters were most definitely among them.

Imagine the social repercussions of sending every young American to live under the supervision of sergeants for a couple of years. Think that would have an impact on crime rates?

Imagine the impact on firearms legislation if everyone learned how deadly a service rifle is - and isn't. Imagine the Brady campaign trying to spew misinformation in a country where everyone knew what an "automatic" really is.

Imagine the impact on our foreign policy if many, many Americans had the opportunity to travel to the places our servicemembers go - even in peacetime.

Imagine the impact on our national level of obesity of subjecting even 10% of that age cohort to MCRD Parris Island or San Diego.

Imagine the impact on race relations of having every American spend at least eight weeks living in a squad bay with members of every race and belief system on the planet.

I think it would be great. Amazing. Wonderful. I think it would fill the gap so lacking in our country - providing a definitive break between childhood and adulthood. I think that time with sergeants would imart a great national lesson in the fine art of learing to shut the fuck up and deal with it.

Alas, I couldn't support it. A few reasons.

It'd be a great social program, but I'm not sure it would have a positive national defense impact. Eight zillion fat, whiny kids who aren't going to be around long enough to train to do much of anything useful these days? Expensive.

I won't go too far down the "I don't want to serve with draftees," road. I don't want to slight any of those who've gone before, been drafted, and served with great honor and distinction. But we've put a lot of time and money into a creating an all-volunteer force that works amazingly well. That's a lot to risk.

It might work, practicality-wise, to simply train them and turn them loose again, subject to quarterly musters for accountability, serving out their term as a sort of "marginally capable reserve." But I think that would negate a lot of the social benefits.

But mostly, I find it slightly un-American. Philosophically, if this country is worth defending, it will always find its own defenders. In times of extreme peril, I suppose a draft can be justified. But fundamentally, the America I'm madly in love with is a place where one ought to be left the hell alone to do as one wishes as long as no innocent bystanders or farm animals are injured.

Compulsory service just rubs me wrong.

I would love to see more opportunities for service, both military and civilian. I would love to see more encouragement for young men and women to do their part. Service is a fundamental way of saying, this is my country and society and I am responsible for it. I would love to see more young Americans step up to the plate, because I think they're doing a piss-poor job of it right now. I think their parents, educators and adult influences are doing a piss-poor job of instilling that sense of responsibility.

But I don't think we can force it. Tempting though it might be.

It's very easy to agree on what everyone "ought" to do. But it's an entirely different thing to make that what everyone is "required" to do.