We're all gonna DIE!

Holy shit - it's the ATTACK OF THE KILLER PEANUT BUTTER!!!!!!!!!



This is the Bad Dog Family Peanut Butter. I did not for a second suspect it was lurking in our house and planning to kill us. Forunately, WFLA, our local NBC affiliate, provided us with THIS TIMELY REPORT.

Surely, though, our peanut butter doesn't want us dead, right? WRONG!



It's got the Peanut Butter Mark Of The Beast - a series number that begins with "2111..."

Maybe THAT explains THIS...



I'm unsure of what to do with this peanut butter. We've all been FINE. And it's barely half-used. So I don't really want to throw it away. But we probably shouldn't take any chances. I think tomorrow I shall take it out and BLOW IT UP. That seems the sensible course of action.