26 February 2007

Operation Gain Control

Situation: Bad Dog Central is entirely out of control. There are giant piles of shriekingly important paperwork, boxes of items both vital and inconsequential scattered around, and a severe case of general disarray. There is a pending major move in approximately 120 days.

Mission: Gain control of the general household area and situation. This will be divided into several specific sub-missions.
(mission of subordinate units, ie dogs - stay out of the way and don't eat anything non-organic)
(mission of adjacent units, ie Mr. Abby - don't offer helpful advice, provide helpful information as required)
Sub-missions (include for planning purposes, but are not limited to)
(1) Operation Paperwork Beatdown
(2) Operation Banish Useless Shit
(3) Operation Relocate Less Useful Shit
(4) Operation Tidy Up

Execution: All missions will be complete NLT 2 MAR.

(1) Operation Paperwork Beatdown
A. separate all household paperwork into piles labeled "keep" and "shred."
B. shove paperwork in folders labeled clearly enough for the slower members of our houselhold
C. stow folders and expanding files in single file drawer to expedite moving

(2) Operation Banish Useless Shit
A. locate all items not used or referenced in last 180 days. Evaluate their retention potential and issue use exemptions based on sentimental value, liklihood of future usefulness and ease of transport.
B. dispose of all items not meriting a 180-day use exemption based on the criteria in paragraph (2)A
C. find and dispose of all clothing belonging to Mr. Abby that makes him look stupid. Even if he really likes it.

(3) Operation Relocate Less Useful Shit
A. Identify those items designated for retention with a low immediate-use potential and transport them to the storage unit

(4) Operation Tidy Up
A. Procure movement-ready containers for temporary storage of household items normally stored using the "big pile" method.
B. Stack movement-ready containers in symetrical piles
C. Vaccum

Admin and Logistics
Disposal of paperwork and materials will involve leaf bags, trash bags, and both garbage cans, providing the one really crapy garbage can doesn't give up the ghost.

Command and Signal
All operations will be executed with complete authority by Abby. Requests for information will be routed via cell to Mr. Abby. Specific requests from Mr. Abby to keep stupid-looking clothes will be routed to the answering machine and immediately erased.

So - now y'all know what I'm up. Too much fun, hey?