02 March 2007

Fawn Hall moments

We have a shredder. I use it, although probably not as often as I should. In the course of Operation Paperwork Beatdown here, I've been using the beejesus out of it.

I give Mr. Abby a lot of credit for stepping in and handling the day-to-day money stuff when I took off for 14 months. He even did the taxes, which impressed me. BUT! But but but... WHY did have to print out the entire year's worth of activity on our checking account?

I just finished shredding THAT monster. Good lord.

Once upon a time, when I was a buck sergeant slaving away here at Major High Silly Command, we had a PROJECT. My little sub-department occupied two trailers, and we had been directed to consolidate into one.

Our staff included me, one other buck sergeant, the World's Most Useless Senior NCO, and about 15 field-grade officers.

We moved all the easy stuff, then turned our attention to the file cabinets. At that time (and probably still now), Major High Silly Command had a policy that NO PAPER could be thrown away. Not a single sheet. Every single piece of paper had to run through the shredder (which was rated for classified stuff and thus had a shred capacity of about three pages at a time).

And we were face-to-face with file cabinets full of...crap. Lots and lots of copies of forms, printed out Army Regulations. And maybe ten sheets that could have been sensitive. All the actual classified crap had been moved to the other trailer.

Didn't matter. We had to shred it all. The field-grade officers had to be banished because, well, we all know that field grade officers have lots of good ideas but impede the process of work. The World's Most Useless Senior NCO remembered an emergency somewhere.

So that left me and my buddy MC with thousands of sheets of paper, the Slowest Classified Shredder On Earth, and a gallon of shredder oil.

Several hours later, we dragged the giant bags of tiny shreds outside and fled to the bar. Your tax dollars at work.

Bonus points for knowing who the title of this post refers to - for some reason, she grabbed my attention more than her boss when I was young.