Weird-ass movie

I've been married for more than five years, but Mr. Abby and I have been together for about seven. Or ten thousand. Whatever, take your pick.

Like most married couples, there's absolutely nothing I enjoy that he doesn't hate, and likewise.

So a trip to the video store is always a little weird. I haven't been helpful lately, because since I came back from Iraq, I insist uon only watching happy movies. Romantic comedies are great. Action is fine as long as it isn't thoughtful. And him? The man likes war movies, movies with ninjas, and, very oddly, foreign films with subtitles based on famous works of literature, or which involve food (Like Water For Chocolate, Tortilla Soup, etc). And movies with lots of fart jokes. 'Cause he's a guy.

Anyway, we went to the video store the other day. And found something we agreed might be entertaining - Barnyard.

The plot? It was fine. Noble cattle hold the line and defend the farm against evil coyotes who want to eat the chickens. And the cattle beat the shit out of the coyotes. Which is cool, because in our household we have no problem with violence in support of the community. And it had Sam Elliott. Singing.

However...the male cows had udders. And walked upright. Now, this was one of those movies where all the animals walked upright (and since they were talking animals, we were prepared to be a little flexible).

But the bulls had "man voices" (see above reference to Sam Eliott). And obviously, gender roles were very important to whoever made this movie. So what the hell was up with the udders????

Now, I've spent a little time around livestock. I am aware that male bovine genitalia is not necessarily something one would want to feature prominently in an animated film.

But all the other animals, although they were obviously male or female, had no genitalia. Which, I think, is pretty standard for a kids' film. So why did the male cattle have udders? I don't get it, and it annoyed the shit out of both of us for the duration of the movie.

One further note - I don't really care for these movies that vilify predators. Madagascar was one of these, too. Meat eaters gotta eat, too. If I ever made an animated film, it would be one where the happy wolf family spends weeks selecting just which whiny deer to "cull from the herd."