OK - this is too much fun. I've started bouncing around the campaign websites, and each and every one seems kind of entertaining in its own special way. So I'm going to hit some of the highlights for y'all.
Sam Brownback, wildly conservative conservative, brings us this gem, with which I think we can probably all agree:
We need a different income tax system altogether. This one, the Internal Revenue Code, should be taken behind the barn and killed with a dull axe.
Mr. Brownback seems like a nice enough man. If he'd just stop worrying about my morality. And yours. And that of your children. In fact, I wouldn't be offended if he thought about all our morality, but he's got the tone of someone who would like to legislate that I adopt his.
****************************************
Let's check on John Edwards, shall we? No - not John Edward. That'll get you to the home page for that weirdo psychic guy.
John Edwards' website is full of lots of earnestness and excessive use of the term "folks." It also has this picture, which proves that John's hair has always been...remarkable.
***********************************************
Dennis Kucinich has an entire page devoted to the importance of hemp. He also has a registered user on his site right now who goes by the handle "peacenik veggieman." Dennis Kucinich is someone I wish was my neighbor. But I have never ever wished he was my president.
Moving right along...
*************************************
Oh! Mitt Romney. We all known Mitt frightens me because he's a Mormon. Sorry - it's true. Here's a picture of Mitt standing in some poor family's living room in New Hampshire. Maybe. It looks more like one of those giant cardboard cutouts.
Okay...one more.
*******************************************
Mike Huckabee. I like to say his name. Say it with me now - huck-uh-bee. Doesn't that make you smile? Ol' Mike is a little too far out on the religious conservative edge for me, but he lost 110 pounds, runs marathons and is probably another candidate who'd make a nice neighbor. Also, he's the only person I've ever heard refer to gay sex in the following way:
"While I respect people having a right to be different and even engage privately in conduct I find unbecoming or even abnormal..."
Being gay is...unbecoming? Well, at least he's polite.
That's all I've got for you tonight, ladies and gentlement. I hope I've encouraged you to learn more about your candidates. It can be FUN!
|